![]() ![]() But the pointlessness of riding a floating plank on an agitated sea represented a side of myself that I’d only ever glimpsed. Of course, back home in Australia, there was always the whole yuppie dickhead side of it to deal with: territoriality, drugs, hectic masculinity. Nothing puts a type A-er in line quite like eating shit wave after wave. If I wanted a break, I needed to make a break for it before it was too late.īefore I’d moved to the US, surfing had been my anchor, my therapist and my joy. I’d seen my friends successfully work less and hike, cook and date more by taking simple, logical steps: moving out of the city. I knew that bemoaning being a workaholic of my own making was a luxury for only the most privileged, but I needed to find some balance before I could dive into a new business. I couldn’t remember the last time I hadn’t felt burnt out. But the great irony was that an erratic and unpredictable income stream had created a different kind of fear: what happens if the well runs dry? So I worked around the clock to feel a sense of security, and I still had no time for myself. Freelancing was always supposed to be a means to an end – a way to free up some extra time on the side for the stuff that really mattered. I was terrified that my life would be meaningless if I couldn’t choose how to spend my time, and I figured I’d never have to claw my way out of the system if I stayed on the periphery. I could have gotten a more stable job that would have allowed me some time off – the kind of job that came with benefits like health insurance and paid leave and sick days – but employment always felt like a trap. When I should have taken a break, I took on another project. When I wasn’t working, I was trying to win a new contract. On paper I’d been free, but I had never really allowed myself to feel freedom. It was the kind of life that seemed luxurious but was actually precarious and unpleasant: I had plenty of opportunities to travel while I worked for the founders of companies I didn’t believe in, helping them sell crap the world didn’t need, while justifying the placement of my every comma. I was coming to the end of a three-year stint of back-to-back freelance branding gigs. ![]() I went on this vacation to Barbados right after deciding to start a marketing agency with a friend back in New York, who’d quit his stable, well-paying job to go into business with me. Which, everybody knows, means: Yes, girl, you’re a goner. And I was doing my best to bear it, making these guttural croaking noises like some kind of distressed tree frog. When I say hot, I mean that Jay was boiling kettle after kettle of water and pouring them into the bag. And my foot, swollen to the size of my thigh, was plunged into a heatproof vinyl bag filled with hot water and vinegar. My breathing was that awful, ragged kind: five short gasps in for every breath out. I didn’t understand why he’d bothered with it – I wasn’t sure I was going to live long enough to worry about a sunburn. For additional information visit Linking to and Using Content from MedlinePlus.I was sitting in a rusted-out wheelchair, swathed in a towel like a newborn, with Jay’s enormous straw gardening hat flopped crooked on my head. Any duplication or distribution of the information contained herein is strictly prohibited without authorization. ![]() Links to other sites are provided for information only - they do not constitute endorsements of those other sites. A licensed physician should be consulted for diagnosis and treatment of any and all medical conditions. The information provided herein should not be used during any medical emergency or for the diagnosis or treatment of any medical condition. ![]() This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information: verify here. Learn more about A.D.A.M.'s editorial policy editorial process and privacy policy. is among the first to achieve this important distinction for online health information and services. follows rigorous standards of quality and accountability. is accredited by URAC, for Health Content Provider (URAC's accreditation program is an independent audit to verify that A.D.A.M. ![]()
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